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Shattering Shame and Reclaiming Your Power
It’s your Boldness Coach™, Vaneese Johnson, here to shake things up and dive deep into a subject that many of us grapple with - shame. Today's episode is all about recognizing and dismantling those feelings of unworthiness, inadequacy, and embarrassment that hold us back from living our BOLDest lives.
Shame is one sneaky emotion. It implants itself in our minds, often without us even realizing it. Societal standards, family dynamics, and cultural expectations create a maze of shame triggers, leading us to question our worth and capability. I shared my own reflections and experiences of overcoming shame, because believe me, I’ve been there too. For years, I struggled under the weight of society's expectations - marrying for all the wrong reasons and staying in an unhealthy marriage because of the shame of divorce. I know how overpowering it can be.
But here's the good news: realizing how shame influences our choices is the first step toward reclaiming our power.
We live in a society that constantly tells us we’re not enough. Whether it’s the pressure to pursue higher education, achieve career milestones, or maintain a picture-perfect family life, these standards can be crushing. For women, the burden doubles with unrealistic body standards, ageism, and pressures to balance career and motherhood flawlessly.
It’s time we put these shame-inducing pressures in check because BOLD living doesn’t require anyone’s permission!
I discussed how society’s expectations can manifest as shame in various aspects of our lives - from career choices to body image. The fear of judgment often forces us to sideline our true desires and aspirations, but no more. Together, we will reclaim our BOLDness.
Let me share a little story. At one point, shame reared its ugly head when I decided to travel abroad. A family member’s warning led me to second-guess my decision, causing untold guilt and unnecessary hesitation. But as I stepped forward, I realized that people project their own limitations and fears onto us, and we must not let that dictate our paths.
Whether it’s pursuing entrepreneurial goals or navigating personal relationships, shame can lead us into self-sabotaging behaviors and perfectionism. Identifying these triggers and tracing them back to their origins is essential.
I encourage you all to give yourselves the grace to work through embedded shame, just as I did.
Let's get practical. I provided several actionable steps to break free from the shackles of shame:
Name Your Shame: Acknowledge and label the specific feelings of shame you experience. Naming it is a powerful way to demystify it.
Reframe Negative Self-Talk: Replace shaming thoughts with affirming ones. Speak to yourself as you would to a dear friend.
Seek Support: Therapy can be an invaluable tool in working through shame. It certainly helped me.
Step into Vulnerability: Own your story. The parts you perceive as imperfections are your sources of power.
Celebrate Small Victories: Recognize and celebrate choices and milestones that align with your personal growth and boldness.
As your Boldness Coach™, I challenge you to keep a journal. Document your journey, offer yourself compassion, and systematically dismantle the shame that has no place in your life.
I firmly believe that everyone deserves to live BOLDLY and unapologetically. If you found today’s episode insightful, I encourage you to watch it in its entirety above.
Trust me, there's so much more to uncover about shattering shame and reclaiming your BOLDness. And remember, you don't have to navigate this journey alone.
If you need personalized support, consider booking a one-on-one Boldness Coaching session with me here. Let’s work together to identify your shame triggers, reframe your story, and step into the power that’s always been yours.
Stay BOLD and keep shining, Bold Ones!
In this episode:
00:00 - Gratitude and Introduction to Shame
05:00 - The Sneaky Nature of Shame
10:00 - Societal Standards and Career Pressures
15:00 - Relationship Pressures and Personal Stories
20:00 - Personal Experiences: Marriage and Divorce
25:00 - Personal Experiences: Travel and Financial Success
30:00 - Actionable Steps to Combat Shame
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